Deutschland, es ist schon 7 Monaten aber ich vermisse dich noch...

I can't believe that 7 months has already flown past since I left Germany.
It's been a big period of adjustment for me as well as learning to find myself again. I felt sad for a very long time but now I'm just starting to get back onto my feet again and live my life.
I'm planning on going back to Berlin in  July 2011. It's something I have to do. I need to do it. There's a hole that I need to find and fill.
I've already completed one semester of university and I've just started semester 2 of my first year. I'm really enjoying my studies. I've taken up Spanish, as there is no German offered at my university.Thinking about doing another exchange through uni, but we'll have to see what happens!
I miss my German life, my German identity and having wonderful friends from around the world by my side. I will never forget my year in Deutschland- it really did change my life.

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart to broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

dienstag

so am dienstag, evan kommt weider nach deutschland. 
ich bin sehr aufgeregt! es ist ein kommisch gefuell. 
wie wuerde es sein?
ich habe wirklich keine ahnung... aber ich hoffe nicht schlecht. 
ich glaube dass ich nur 78 tage noch in deutschland habe.
ich habe heute dieses foto gemacht...fuer ein besonder person...wem ich ganz doll liebe. 
und ich weiss dass er auf mich wartet. 
heute ich habe ihm gefragt ob er hier nach deutschland fliegen werde, zu mir besuchen und so und vielleicht silvester mit mir feiren. aber weiss du was er geschreiben hat? das er weiss nicht wegen arbeit und so. dann ich fullte wenn er mich WIRKLICH liebt, dann er werde hier fuer mich kommen...was muss ich von das denken? was bin ich zu ihm? wenn ich ihm war, natuerlich wuerde ich nach wohin fliegen...ich finde ihm "my all" und will alles mit ihm haben...aber vielleicht dass ist nur mein entscheidung....

4 Landern in nur 2 Wochen.

Well I feel like I've been around the world and back!
And it's been great.
I was in Denmark, last week staying with my BEST FRIEND Miss Sofie Korn and her family. It was so great being with her in her home. I mean, we haven't seen eachother since 24th January when I left Australia. When we met again at the airport in Copenhagen, she had tears in her eyes, and in a way I felt like I was at home again. A friend said to me this week, it is not the place that makes a home a home, it is the people who you love and spend your life with that make it home. And I believe that is so true. It was my first time in Denmark, but it felt like I'd been there my whole life.
I met her family, Grandma and all. We went to a Beatles Musical which was excellent, a photography exhibition, LOTS of shopping and just relaxing- which was great for a change! I've started knitting, and really enjoying it!
Jack (another exchange student from my Rotary District back in Australia, who is this year on exchange in Sweden) was also visitng Sofie at the same time, so it was really nice to catch up with him too.

Me, Jack and Sofie

I arrived back last Thursday to Germany and Friday morning at 4am I left with Larissa and my host family to the most Westerly town in Germany, Trier, which is on the border of Luxembourg. We stayed with some school friends of my host mum and we did day trips to France (Metz- a beautiful city) and then to Luxembourg and as well in Trier itself. We arrived back here to Strausberg on Tuesday night.
Wednesday at the last minute, I got a ticket to go to the 'A-ha' concert in Berlin with my host parents, as they had a spareticket. I think I was about the youngest person there, but I had a great time!! I was singing and dancing with all the Germans in my seat- this concert felt like a new religion of people- cheering and screaming and happiness! It was amazing to see!
Ben came over yesterday for a visit! We went to the lake and chilled and ate cake :) It was so nice to see him again!
My holiday break is almost over- but I'm off to Paris NEXT THURSDAY on an exchnage student trip! I'm meeting with my aunty, uncle and cousin in Paris, probably for a coffee or something! But I think it will be great!
My time here is running out- less than 80 days to go. Then I'll be back in Australia with family, friends and the hot Australian sun!
But I'm sad to leave a lot of things in Germany too---like my school friends, my exchange students friends...a different life.
But it's just like Nelly Furtado says in her song, 'All good things come to an end...'

Ich war in den Pilze.

So today, I went with my host parents and host sister in the German forest to look for MUSHROOMS- the eating variety!
Last  night the weather was rainy, so apparently this is perfect for finding mushrooms.
We left home at about 10.30am and were gone for 3 hours. We collected so many. There are some that we didn't take, obviously because you can DIE when you eat them, but the ones we were looking for were brown on the top and yellow and spongy underneath. We got buckets of them!
Then we came home and cleaned them all and ate them for lunch with potato. It was so nice to be able to find my own lunch! I felt proud.
Ich war Stolz auf mich!
I have my first big school test tomorrow- 2 hours of Art. I've studied a little bit but I'm just going to do what I can. We have to analyse photographs of portaits. How hard can that be...in GERMAN???
Denmark--- THURSDAY! I'm really looking forward to it.
Not much else to report.
3 months and 3 days away...
K xxx

Ich wohne in zwei Landern.

Heute, ist meine Cousine aus Australien zurück nach Italien geflogen. Ich war am Flughafen um 6 Uhr! Ganz früh! Aber dieser Zeit, dass wir zusammen hier in Deutschland hätten, hat mir sehr gefällen.
Ich vermisse so viel. Ich will Andrew sehen. Und mit ihm zusammen sein. Das ist alles was ich denken kann. Wirklich. 
Ich will mit Ben treffen- es ist über 1 Woche seit unserer letztes treffen! TRAUIG!
Schule ist ok--war nicht so oft dieses Woche da, weil meine Cousine hier warst!
Ich höre gerade Musik- und denke über mein Leben.
Wollte mein Leben anders sein, wenn ich kein Austauschjahr gemacht hätte? Wer wollte ich, als ein Person sein? 
Ich LIEBE was ich hier in Deutschland habe. Aber ich will ihm haben...für mein Leben. Ich will zurück zu ihm gehen. Weil ich weiß wie große sein Liebe für mir ist. Und das ist wunderschön!
Ich bin zu komplizert. Aber alles ist ok. Alles ist super. Ich wohne in zwei Landern. Und ich habe zwei Heimen.
Ich vermisse wer ich war. Ich war schlank und so so glücklich...

Today my cousin left to fly back to Italy. I was at the airport to farewell her at 6am- VERY early! But this time that we had together in Germany really made me happy.
I miss so much. I want to see Andrew.
I need to see Ben- we haven't met for over a week now- SAD!! :(
School was good this week- I wasn't there so often, because my cousin was here.
I'm listening to music now and thinking about my life.
'Would my life be different if I didn't complete a year as an exchange student?'
'Who would I be as a person?'
I love what I have here in Germany. But I want to have 'him' back. I want to go back to 'him'. Because I know just how much he loves me. And this is amazing!
I'm too complicated. But everything is ok.Everything is super. I live in 2 countries and I have two homes.
I miss what I was. I was beautiful and so so happy...

to London and back...

so- LONDON was amazing! i LOVED it! and we had so much freedom and freetime on the trip- it was great. I loved spending more time with my German friends while exploring a new city! Saw all the main monuments- BIG BEN, LONDON EYE, red buses and telephone booths, fell in love with OXFORD STREET.
all in all it was one of the most enjoyable things ive done on my exchange.

i miss home. ive been feeling really mixed up this last week .my cousin from australia is staying here with me in germany at the moment, im really enjoying spending this time with her. im ready to go home, but im sad to leave my friends and the wonderful parts of my life that i have here. home is calling...